The Island Blotter

The vehicle's owner received a citation for roadway parking, learning the hard way that "no parking" signs aren't just friendly suggestions.

A vehicle on Fisherman Bay Road decided to take up more than its fair share of the northbound lane, proving that parallel parking is apparently optional when you're not paying attention.

A Lopez resident discovered that Facebook harassment doesn't always translate to criminal activity—turns out some posts are just the digital equivalent of shouting into the void, so we let this one go.

The dog's owner received an at-large warning letter—consider it a gentle reminder that fences make good neighbors, and leashes make better dog owners.

A Lopez deputy responded to a dog-at-large complaint on Lopez.

An Orcas deputy responded to a trespassing complaint.

An Orcas deputy completed a welfare check and made contact with the individual.

An Orcas deputy responded to an accident with injury near Deer Harbor and arrested the driver for DUI; the driver was released with a citation and court date, with a report forwarded to the Department of Licensing.

A San Juan resident reported being defrauded and had already contacted their bank to halt the transfer, though no suspect information was available at the time of the report.

A vehicle went off Deer Harbor Road and came to rest on the rocks below; Orcas Fire and EMS responded to extract the injured occupant, who was airlifted to the mainland for treatment.

An Orcas deputy reviewed a protection order complaint and determined no violation had occurred—a rare case where paperwork actually prevented drama instead of causing it.

A San Juan deputy located a suspect vehicle and recovered 18 campaign signs, proving that sign theft is definitely not a platform we endorse.

A deputy processed a licensing matter with proper identification verification—documentation: the unsung hero of bureaucracy.

A deputy clocked a speed demon on Orcas Road doing 52 in a 35—apparently the driver thought the posted limit was more of a suggestion, like "don't take the last donut."

An Orcas deputy investigated a theft, which we can only assume was someone's prized collection of something very important to them.

An Eastsound deputy took a lost wallet report in Eastsound, because apparently even on an island, wallets still manage to go missing.

An Orcas deputy responded to a Discovery Way disturbance and discovered the only crime was poor communication—thankfully, no charges filed.

A harassed caller decided they'd rather have peace than press charges, so a deputy helped them navigate the no-contact order process and showed them the legal way to say "please leave me alone."

An Orcas deputy checked on a subject's welfare on Rosehip Road and, respecting their autonomy, left them to their own devices after offering assistance.

A Lopez driver discovered that ditches are not ideal off-road parking spots, though fortunately a helpful friend and the laws of physics conspired to reunite vehicle and pavement without incident.

A Lopez deputy ticketed a vehicle parked in front of a No Parking sign at Agate Beach Park, because apparently snow provides excellent camouflage for reading comprehension skills.

A deputy checked on a Rosehip Road resident's wellbeing, found them fine, and filed a report confirming that yes, this person exists and is doing okay.

Two vehicles met in Friday Harbor under icy conditions and nobody was hurt, proving that even collisions follow the island's motto: "We're all just sliding along together."

An Eastsound call turned out to be all bark and no bite—verbal only, no crimes committed.

A San Juan driver learned the hard way that 61 in a 45 is not a math problem—it's a citation.

Both parties left the scene with valid licenses, insurance, and the knowledge that collisions require paperwork.

Two pickup trucks met on San Juan Island and decided to become better acquainted—both drivers had valid licenses and insurance, so at least somebody was prepared.

A San Juan market manager called in a shoplifter they'd caught on camera, and a trespass warning letter was issued—because nothing says "please don't steal from us again" quite like official paperwork.

Someone stole a street sign on San Juan, proving that the only thing more elusive than a street sign is whoever took it, as deputies had no workable leads or suspects at the time.

A San Juan resident called to report her brother missing, then called back moments later to say never mind—he was found and doing just fine, which we assume means he wasn't actually missing, just thoroughly lost in his own life.