The Island Blotter

Two Lopez drivers collided, prompting deputies and emergency medical services to respond—a reminder that the only thing you should be tailgating is your favorite restaurant.

A driver was stopped with no license, no insurance, expired registration, and an active DOC escape warrant—we towed his vehicle and gave him a ride he won't forget.

A deputy on Orcas Island conducted a traffic stop and issued the driver notices of infraction for operating without a valid license—turns out "valid operator" and "valid operator of a vehicle" are two very different things.

A Lopez resident was stopped for driving left of center and speeding while operating without a valid driver's license, resulting in an infraction.

A San Juan driver learned the hard way that "left turn only" signs aren't suggestions, receiving a verbal warning for their creative interpretation of traffic laws at Nichols and Argyle.

A San Juan driver en route to becoming the island's premiere donut artist was stopped for under-glow, speeding 21 miles over the limit, and creative lane selection—and was ultimately arrested for DUI, proving that some people really do take the scenic route home.

The vehicle's owner received a citation for roadway parking, learning the hard way that "no parking" signs aren't just friendly suggestions.

A vehicle on Fisherman Bay Road decided to take up more than its fair share of the northbound lane, proving that parallel parking is apparently optional when you're not paying attention.

An Orcas deputy responded to an accident with injury near Deer Harbor and arrested the driver for DUI; the driver was released with a citation and court date, with a report forwarded to the Department of Licensing.

A vehicle went off Deer Harbor Road and came to rest on the rocks below; Orcas Fire and EMS responded to extract the injured occupant, who was airlifted to the mainland for treatment.

A deputy clocked a speed demon on Orcas Road doing 52 in a 35—apparently the driver thought the posted limit was more of a suggestion, like "don't take the last donut."

A Lopez driver discovered that ditches are not ideal off-road parking spots, though fortunately a helpful friend and the laws of physics conspired to reunite vehicle and pavement without incident.

A Lopez deputy ticketed a vehicle parked in front of a No Parking sign at Agate Beach Park, because apparently snow provides excellent camouflage for reading comprehension skills.

Two vehicles met in Friday Harbor under icy conditions and nobody was hurt, proving that even collisions follow the island's motto: "We're all just sliding along together."

A San Juan driver learned the hard way that 61 in a 45 is not a math problem—it's a citation.

Both parties left the scene with valid licenses, insurance, and the knowledge that collisions require paperwork.

Two pickup trucks met on San Juan Island and decided to become better acquainted—both drivers had valid licenses and insurance, so at least somebody was prepared.

A San Juan deputy issued a citation to a driver going 60 in a 45, because apparently that driver thought the speed limit was more of a suggestion than a legal boundary.

A San Juan driver learned the hard way that "fast and roundabout" isn't a personality type—clocked at 42 in a 25, they received a citation for their enthusiastic interpretation of speed limits.

An Orcas driver decided that a 25 mph zone was more of a suggestion than a speed limit, hitting 40 mph instead; they also had the added distinction of doing so with a suspended license, making this a real two-for-one special.

A Lopez driver found out that doing 37 in a 25 on Fisherman Bay Road is a quick way to get a speeding ticket and a slower commute home.

An Eastsound driver discovered that power poles are surprisingly immovable objects and that power lines make for terrible car accessories, especially with a passenger still on board.

A San Juan deputy pulled over a driver whose load was about as secured as a beach chair in a hurricane, only to discover the driver's license had also taken an unauthorized leave of absence.

A Lopez deputy discovered a suspicious vehicle at Port Stanley Schoolhouse and gave the occupants a friendly suggestion to take their loitering elsewhere.

A vehicle in Eastsound was blocking traffic with all the grace of a bad parallel parker, so a deputy issued a registration citation to the driver and sent them on their way.

One San Juan driver learned that the real citation wasn't for the missing seat belt—it was for the missing insurance, which is like getting pulled over for speeding and finding out your car's actually on fire.

A vehicle in Friday Harbor got a surprise bed check—unfortunately by someone other than the owner—and several items decided to take an unauthorized vacation. Suspects remain at large, probably enjoying their new stuff.

A woman in Orcas attempted to borrow a vehicle without filing the proper paperwork (or asking), but since the reporting party declined to press charges, we're calling this a "test drive that didn't pass the permission check."

A deputy on Orcas followed a suspected DUI driver only to find them completely sober, so they issued a warning for an obstructed license plate instead—at least someone was breaking the law that day.

A deputy on Orcas stopped a driver who'd forgotten two important things: renewing their vehicle registration and carrying proof of liability insurance—apparently out of sight, out of mind, out of compliance.