The Island Blotter
San Juan County Sheriff's Log - Powered by dad humor
A deputy on Orcas Road decided our driver needed a pop quiz on traffic laws—they failed spectacularly and collected citations like trading cards.
A collision occurred at Douglas Road and Madden Lane on San Juan Island, where the at-fault driver was suspected of driving under the influence; she was arrested for DUI and processed accordingly.
A vehicle in Friday Harbor became an unwilling participant in a midnight shopping spree when someone helped themselves to the contents—proving that car prowls are the original subscription box service, except you don't choose what gets taken.
A Lopez woman discovered that her unlocked car in Lopez Village had become an unwitting donation center, courtesy of a very industrious thief.
The hit-and-run victim's car sustained minor damage, meaning they got off easier than most of us do in a parking lot.
A hit-and-run in Eastsound left deputies searching for a suspect vehicle believed to be an SUV or van—basically, any boxy thing on wheels that isn't a sedan.
A good Samaritan found a dog loose in the roadway and brought it home, but the owner got a friendly reminder that "at large" doesn't mean "at liberty to roam."
A motorist learned that speeding in the 1800 block of Mud Bay Road comes with a ticket—turns out there really is a fine line between safe and unsafe driving.
A citizen reported a hit and run collision on their parked vehicle at Island Market in Eastsound; the other driver left the scene faster than they left a note.
Two vehicles collided in Friday Harbor in what can only be described as a meeting that nobody wanted to attend, but a collision report was completed and everyone walked away citation-free.
A speed demon at Terrill Beach and Mt. Baker Road discovered that going 52 in a 35 means you're not just breaking the law, you're breaking the sound barrier—or at least the citation barrier.
A vehicle owner reported damage at the ferry lot, but when deputies checked security footage, the cameras had apparently taken the day off—no incident was captured, which is pretty on-brand for government technology.