The Island Blotter

A deputy responded to a vehicle-versus-tree collision on San Juan; unfortunately, the tree won.

A deputy rushed to catch an erratic driver on Orcas, only to arrive and find the vehicle had already left the building—talk about a hit-and-run from the scene.

An Orcas driver was cited for doing 10 mph over the speed limit and letting their registration lapse for over two months—double the violations, double the regret.

Three separate Orcas speeders each received warnings in one day—the deputies were really putting the "multiple choice" in traffic enforcement.

An Orcas driver received a friendly speeding warning from a deputy—apparently going too fast to enjoy the island scenery.

A deputy on Lopez Island investigated a suspicious vehicle—turns out it was just parked, which is technically what cars do best.

A San Juan deputy stopped a driver whose registration had expired over two months ago—apparently, they thought "expired" was just a suggestion—and also discovered the driver lacked insurance, completing a trifecta of traffic violations.

An Orcas deputy conducted a traffic stop near Eastsound and issued a citation to a driver who apparently believed seatbelts were optional and driver's licenses were merely suggestions.

A Friday Harbor resident discovered that someone had taken "littering" to the next level by abandoning an entire vehicle—talk about going the extra mile. One citation was issued to encourage better waste management practices.

A Orcas driver got into a collision, decided to walk it off like a true island tough guy, then later thought better of it and called for medical assistance before being transported to the hospital—a delayed but ultimately sensible decision.

A deputy on San Juan responded to a traffic offense, because apparently the island's speed limit of "leisurely" wasn't leisurely enough for someone.

An Eastsound single-vehicle accident brought out Orcas Fire and Rescue; the driver was cleared medically but then arrested for DUI, proving that the real crash was their judgment call.

Eastsound vehicle prowls hit nine times in the early morning hours, with two cases involving actual stolen items; apparently some folks thought the parking lot was an all-night discount store.

A non-local driver on Lovers Lane learned that love might conquer all, but speed limits conquer speeding—cited for doing 43 in a 25.

An Orcas driver on Mt Baker Road discovered that 43 mph in a 25 mph zone isn't a suggestion—it's a citation waiting to happen.

A traffic accident on San Juan required deputies to piece together what happened; fortunately, the vehicles involved were more cooperative than the drivers usually are.

A driver near Lopez Village learned that speeding without a seatbelt is like committing two crimes at once—inefficient AND unsafe.

An Orcas Island driver was stopped for a broken stop sign habit and signal negligence, then arrested for DUI and obstructing an officer—a day that went from "minor traffic violation" to "why did I make all these choices."

Two drivers in Friday Harbor discovered that speed limits are more like suggestions if you're bad at math.

A vehicle met a pole in a head-on collision near Lopez, resulting in a wildland fire and downed power lines—proving once again that poles always win these arguments.

A citizen reported that someone threw gravel on his vehicle—a crime so petty it makes jaywalking look like a felony.

A Lopez Island deputy helped a property owner start the lengthy bureaucratic process of removing an abandoned vehicle by conducting a VIN inspection and completing a junk vehicle affidavit. Goodbye, eyesore.

A Friday Harbor driver took "taking a nap" to a whole new level by doing it behind the wheel, sending their vehicle down an embankment; the driver was injured and hospitalized, which is definitely not the recommended way to rest.

A Lopez deputy pulled over a speeding vehicle, only to discover the driver's license was about as valid as a Blockbuster membership card—citation issued.

A vehicle on Olga Road and Lindsey Way on Orcas decided to test the laws of physics against black ice and lost, resulting in a rollover; the driver was cited for no insurance and no license, proving that optimism is not a substitute for either.

A suspicious vehicle on a Port Stanley Road property turned out to be completely legitimate, making this the island's least exciting mystery since someone called about a "prowler" that was a mailbox.

An Orcas driver's reckless driving experiment ended when they collided with a large rock—a contest the driver lost decisively, with injuries sustained in the process.

An Orcas driver was apparently auditioning for a faster speed class and achieved a 55 mph in a 40 mph zone; the deputy was unimpressed and issued a citation.

A hit-and-run by the Orcas ferry landing reminded us that some drivers treat accidents like they're playing bumper cars at the fair and just keep moving.

An Orcas speedster was clocked doing 47 in a 25, which is a fancy way of saying they were auditioning for Fast and Furious: Island Drift.