The Island Blotter

A Friday Harbor resident decided to test whether court-ordered conditions were more like "guidelines," and spoiler alert: they're not. The matter has been referred to adult probation, who will now have some reading to do.

A San Juan Island deputy followed up on an Adult Protective Services referral, spoke with the reported victim, gathered available information, and completed a report—proving that sometimes the most important police work involves listening and paperwork.

An Orcas Island deputy responded to an agency request and determined no crime had been committed, though the subject will need to take their concerns to a higher authority—literally, Washington state.

A Facebook message in Eastsound had everyone concerned, but it turned out the poster's threats were about as serious as a wet noodle—no criminal intent detected, just documented for the record.

A juvenile-related incident in the Sheriff's Office files remains as mysterious as the question marks that preceded it, but rest assured it's been documented.

An Eastsound agency needed a hand, and a mandatory reporter wanted to loop in the Sheriff's Office to investigate a situation involving a juvenile—documented and ready for the follow-up.

A would-be lock circumventer at the Sheriff's Office discovered that electronic locks are surprisingly committed to their job; the unsuccessful individual was identified and had a friendly chat about respecting boundaries.

Deputies investigated suspicious activity on the 100 block of Spring Street, because apparently even on an island, you can't have a little mystery without someone calling it in.

A Lopez deputy evicted an unauthorized camper from the village park and connected them with services—proving that sometimes the best way to help someone is to tell them to pitch their tent elsewhere.

Lopez residents reported hearing what sounded like large explosions from San Juan or the peninsula, which remains a mystery that's still going boom in our records.

An Orcas deputy found a wallet and booked it into evidence, giving new meaning to "checking your balance" at the station.

A San Juan deputy responded to a report of lost property, which we assume has not yet been found, hence the "lost" part.

The dog's owner received an at-large warning letter—consider it a gentle reminder that fences make good neighbors, and leashes make better dog owners.

An Eastsound deputy took a lost wallet report in Eastsound, because apparently even on an island, wallets still manage to go missing.

A Lopez parent reported that their child was being repeatedly approached by an unfamiliar older man offering rides—a serious safety concern that law enforcement is actively investigating.

An Orcas resident discovered that black ice is nature's way of saying "your car goes where it wants now" after sliding off the roadway.

A boater off San Juan got a BUI courtesy of another agency, who made the initial arrest and did most of the heavy lifting before handing off the case.

The U.S. Coast Guard really knows how to make a splash in Roche Harbor—they detained a boat operator for BUI, proving that "staying afloat" means something very different when you're three sheets to the wind. Deputies took the individual into custody and transported them to San Juan County Jail, where the only thing they'll be navigating is their life choices.

A San Juan deputy investigated a reported order violation and confirmed that yes, in fact, a court order had been violated, with the case now forwarded to the prosecutor.

A San Juan resident discovered that court-ordered sobriety conditions and open containers don't mix, and neither does their breath sample with a citation.

A small child was spotted taking a solo jog down the road on Lopez, but the situation was quickly resolved when the child's mother was located and the pint-sized marathoner was returned home.

A Lopez deputy reunited some found property with its rightful owner near a south end beach, proving that honesty is still the best policy—even on an island.

A deputy processed some property into evidence with the express purpose of watching it go away forever, which we're calling "destruction" but the property is calling "the end."

A deputy spotted a woman in dark clothing doing her best ninja impression on Orcas at night, but it turned out she had a companion keeping tabs on her, so everyone went home safe and slightly less mysteriously.

The same driver also discovered that "insurance" isn't just a suggestion—it's apparently the law.

A San Juan driver learned the hard way that a suspended license is basically a permission slip you don't have.

Caller had questions about something we're not equipped to handle, so we pointed them toward the county folks who actually know what they're doing.

A Lopez resident called about a shoreline access question, but a records check revealed the area was private property, meaning this particular citizen had discovered the one beach in the world with a "No Trespassing" sign and apparently a very strong opinion about it.

A Lopez deputy discovered that Mother Nature had decided to redesign Shark Reef Road by installing a large tree as a speed bump; thankfully, public works showed up to negotiate its removal.

A Lopez deputy investigated a reported violation of a protective order.